Meet people where they are, not where you wish they were.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there. That moment when someone doesn’t quite meet the expectations we had for them. Maybe you saw so much potential in them, believed they were capable of more, and when they didn’t quite get there… it stung a bit. I know I’ve done this, both in my personal life and at work. And truthfully? I think most of us have.

It’s completely human. We care, we hope, we want to believe in people—and that’s a good thing. But when we hold others to a version of them that only exists in our minds, we end up frustrated. Because at the end of the day, the only person truly disappointed in that moment is us.

I’ve learned over the years (sometimes the hard way!) that one of the most powerful things we can do is meet people exactly where they are. Not where we think they should be, but where they are right now, in this moment. And when we do that - when we listen with curiosity instead of judgment - we open the door to real connection and growth.

I was listening to Simon Sinek recently, and he said something that really stuck with me. He talked about how sometimes in meetings, someone will react strongly to something seemingly small, maybe they sound angry, annoyed or defensive. His point was, if someone’s response feels bigger than the moment calls for, it’s rarely about the thing itself. It’s a clue that something else is going on. That’s where we have the chance to lean in, ask questions, and really understand what’s underneath.

When we show up with curiosity instead of assumptions, people feel seen. Resentment doesn’t get a chance to build. And more often than not, we solve things faster and more kindly.

This mindset isn’t just for the workplace either. It’s something I’ve tried to carry with me into all my relationships. Let people show you who they are. Listen to what they’re actually saying, not just what you hope to hear. And try not to make decisions based only on potential. Look at the actions, the energy, the attitude – in my experience those are the real signals.

So here’s what I remind myself: meet people where they are. Support them from that place. That’s where the good stuff really starts.